Drinking Games
by sashsweetie
Summary: There are no new cases, so House comes up with a competition to see which of his teams, old or new, has a better alcohol tolerance. Little does he expect what results! Not meant to be serious, just enjoyable. Somehow all my stories end up Camteenish!
1. Place Your Bets

_A/N: Not meant to be even remotely serious or in character, just as a forwarning! _

House was bored. There were no new cases, his team had abandoned him in favour of finding more interesting things to do around the hospital, and here he was, sitting in Wilson's office, playing video games for the 6th hour straight. Again. He stretched lazily. "Wiiiiiilson." He moaned.

Wilson didn't even look up. "I'm busy, House."

House rolled his eyes. "And I'm bored."

"You could do your clinic hours." Wilson pointed out, a slight smirk on his face.

"Thirteen's doing them. She's bored too." House sighed tragically. "I'm putting my team's needs before my own."

Wilson snorted. "Isn't this usually the point in time when you'd come up with some sort of ridiculous scheme to harass Cuddy or create a betting circle or make your team do something crazy?" He regretted the statement almost as soon as it came out of his mouth. House's eyes lit up. Wilson coughed. "Or you could do something productive."

House stood up and exited the room, leaving Wilson looking after him in bewilderment.

A couple of hours later, Thirteen looked down as her pager beeped. House. Hopefully that meant they had a new case and she could escape the godforsaken clinic. She hadn't become a specialist to deal with people having panic attacks over the fact that they had a cold. Or that their children were having colds. Sighing, she put down the file she'd been about to pick up, let the nurse know she was leaving, and headed back up to Diagnostics.

Chase was surprised as his pager beeped House's number. House never paged him. The shock was enough to make him want to know what was going on. He made his way to House's office, surprised to see his girlfriend sitting at the table too. "What's going on?" He questioned suspiciously upon entering and taking a seat beside Allison.

"Don't bother, we already tried." Thirteen stretched lazily in her seat. "He won't say anything till Kutner gets here."

"Where is he, anyway?" House demanded.

Thirteen shrugged. "I don't know where you sent him."

At that moment, Kutner jogged into view, looking out of breath. "Do we have a case?" He looked surprised at the number of people in the room.

"Nope." House grinned. "We have something even better." He turned around the whiteboard to expose the plan.

"You have got to be kidding." Foreman announced from his place leaning against a bookshelf.

Cameron actually looked kind of excited. "When are we doing this?" she questioned.

Thirteen and Chase both stared at her.

"I definitely had you pegged wrong." Thirteen announced, getting over the surprise.

House smirked. "Tonight." He announced. "None of you are on shift, so no excuses. New team versus old team."

"I'm stuck with Taub and Kutner?!" Thirteen pouted.

"We're soooo winning." Cameron grinned.

"This is so immature." Chase whined. "What self-respecting 30-year-old would play drinking games?"

This earned him a glare from Allison. "I'm 29 and I don't see a problem." She poked him in the side. "C'mon, it's just a bit of fun!"

"Fine." Chase rolled his eyes petulantly.

House smirked. "Perfect. Be at my apartment at…" he looked at his watch. "Seven. That gives you all an hour after you get off."

"My wife is going to kill me." Taub sighed.

"Your wife is always going to kill you." Kutner pointed out. "What's new?"

Taub shrugged. "Fair point."

At precisely seven pm that evening, Cameron bounced happily up to House's door, towing the much less excited Foreman and Chase.

"Why are you always happy?" House demanded as he opened the door to be greeted with sparkling green eyes. "Thirteen is so much cooler than you."

Thirteen sat on the couch looking bored and already drinking. Taub and Kutner were playing on House's X-Box. Cameron ignored House and pushed past him to sit beside Thirteen and opened a beer. Foreman went and leant against a table. Chase simply sat in a chair and looked nervous, until he noticed that House had Guitar Hero. He went to pick up the guitar, only to have his hand slapped by House. "Later, Chase." Chase went back to his chair and looked petulant.

"Okay, people." House announced. "Rules." His eyes gleamed. "Vomiting, passing out, bowing out or giving up in any way are the exclusion criteria. I will come up with challenges that either involve drinking, or that upon losing, the loser must take a drink. Team with the most members standing at the end of the night wins. Got it?"

Everyone nodded, except Chase, who just looked more worried.

"Good." House smirked. "First challenge: chugging. Whoever finishes last for each team has to take a shot."

Wilson arrived from the kitchen carrying a tray of six beers and two shots. "Everyone around the table, please." He set the glasses down carefully. Everyone moved forward to sit around the table and took a glass in hand.

"Ready?" House asked. "Go!!"

The group started chugging. Thirteen bolted hers ridiculously fast, followed by Foreman. Cameron came next, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend, who was obviously failing at the task. Taub and Kutner seemed to be spending more time glaring at one another than getting through their beer. Finally, Taub took a last gulp and grinned at his friend. "Ha!" Kutner finished seconds afterwards. Everyone turned to look at Chase, who was still lagging.

House sighed. "Not hard to see where the competition lies. Chase, Kutner – do your shots." Chase whimpered, having finally finished his beer.

"Er, why are you dating him?" Thirteen asked Cameron under her breath.

Cameron shrugged. "Surprisingly, the sex is good." She whispered back. "But you can see why we still live separately."

Thirteen nodded "Yeah."

Chase gagged, but made it through his shot.

"Next challenge!" House announced, taking a swig of his own beer. "Flip cup! Team who loses all have to take shots!"

"Put Chase at the end." Cameron murmured to Foreman, who nodded.

Amazingly, their team won. Apparently the other team lacked coordination even more than Chase.

"Challenge number three: beer pong!" Wilson arrived again to set up House's table with plastic cups.

By the end of the challenge, everyone was starting to end up on the drunk side of tipsy. House grinned. "Now the fun begins. We're playing Twister!" Wilson laid the game out on the ground. Kutner groaned. "For the next few challenges, your teams will be as follows: Thirteen vs. Cameron. Taub vs. Chase. Kutner vs. Foreman." He eyed them all. "Kutner and Foreman, go!"

Thirteen and Cameron returned to the beers they'd been sipping prior to starting the competition, neither seeming overly concerned about alcohol content.

This game ended with Chase, Kutner, and surprisingly, Thirteen taking shots of tequila. Cameron looked triumphant. She knew working out everyday paid off!

This time around, House looked particularly jubilant. "Now for the hooking up part of the competition. Whoever ends the kissing between partners loses." He waggled his eyebrows at Cameron and Thirteen.

"But…but…" Chase looked very upset. "She's my girlfriend." He pointed at Cameron.

House nodded. "Yes Chase, good job!"

"I don't want her to kiss someone else."

"It's another _girl_, Chase. It's _hot_!" House exclaimed. Chase was still pouting. House rolled his eyes. Cameron and Thirteen were sizing each other up, evidently having no issue with the challenge. He smiled smugly. Girl on girl between two of the hottest women in the hospital. His dream come true. "Okay, let's go." he rubbed his hands together. "Go!" All the male members refused to participate, even if it meant them all taking shots. Besides, watching Cameron and Thirteen was much more interesting, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Ten minutes later they were still watching the blonde and the brunette going at it, mouths open in awe. They hadn't been expecting anything this good. Suddenly taking shots of tequila seemed like a good idea, competition or not. House reached for one, shooting it back and shaking his head violently, never taking his eyes off of the two women. Chase was sitting in the corner rocking back and forth. Everyone ignored him, their concentration elsewhere.

Wilson arrived with more shots of tequila and got distracted too, starting to take them rather than put them down on the table. He'd never realised the power two women hooking up could have on men before. Now he understood. The sound of Taub retching and running for the bathroom distracted Cameron and Thirteen and they broke away from one another, noticing the empty shot glasses and the group of men watching them.

"Why didn't anyone stop us?" Cameron asked, blushing.

"Why on earth would we do that?" House looked at her like she was stupid. She shrugged, her eyes drifting to find Chase rocking in the corner and she sighed.

"Look what you've done to Chase." She said admonishingly, picking up her beer again.

House shrugged. "Whatever" he looked around briefly. "So we've lost Taub and Chase. I guess it's up to you four to continue the challenge."

"We took way more shots than them because they kept making out" Kutner whined.

"Oh, grow up." Thirteen rolled her eyes and grabbed a shot of tequila, shooting it back.

"Both you and Foreman were taking shots?" Cameron asked. Kutner nodded. "Well, that's equal on each team then."

"Cameron makes a good point." House concluded. "But I think she needs to take a shot to be equal to Thirteen."

Cameron sighed in frustration and took a shot just to shut House up. "The rules of this game seem suspect to me." She grumbled.

"I'm in charge – why did you think they wouldn't be?" House questioned.

Cameron shrugged. "What's the next challenge?"

House scratched his neck. "To be honest, I didn't get much beyond you and Thirteen making out."

At this point Kutner keeled over onto the floor.

Thirteen rolled her eyes. "Well I guess that solves the problem of which of your teams has better alcohol tolerance." She pointed out to House. "Which is good, cause I want to go clubbing."

Cameron's eyes lit up at this. "Can I come?" Thirteen nodded.

"Its okay, Thirteen, you still hold my respect." House informed her mock solemnly.

"Whatever." She started to locate her purse.

"I'll make sure Chase gets home." Foreman told Cameron.

Her eyes slid to her boyfriend, still rocking in the corner. "You might want to leave him in his corner; he's kind of difficult when he gets like this. I usually just leave him alone for a bit."

"I don't want him!" House whined. Cameron sighed.

"Don't worry about it. Go have fun with Thirteen." Foreman's eyes drifted dreamily over to the other woman.

"Thanks." Cameron smiled at him and went to join the other woman at the door, grabbing her stuff on the way.

"Don't come into work hung over!" House called after them.

"Fine!" Two female voices called back.

"They're so going to hook up." House said in an over-exaggerated whisper to Foreman, causing Chase to whimper.

Kutner came to, sitting up. "What happened?" he questioned, disoriented.

"You lost." House informed him, not turning around.

"Oh." Kutner lay back down and closed his eyes. "That sucks."

"Wilson!" House called.

Wilson emerged from the washroom supporting Taub. "Yes?"

"Nothing."

Wilson rolled his eyes and set Taub down in a chair. "I'm going home." He announced.

"Okay. Everyone else can clean up." House grinned.

'Everyone' groaned, except for Chase, who just stayed in his corner rocking.

Wilson chose that moment to make a quick exit.

Foreman sighed. How did he get into these situations?

_A/N: Should I continue? Let me know!!_


	2. The Morning After

_Where the fuck am I?_ Was the first thought that went through Allison Cameron's mind as she woke up to an alarm going off. The groan she heard beside her certainly didn't belong to Chase. Opening her eyes she flipped over to come face to face with Thirteen. "Shit!" her eyes widened and she jumped out of the bed to discover she was naked.

Thirteen chuckled at her co-worker. "How much of last night do you remember?" She asked Cameron as the blonde hugged a bed pillow to herself.

Cameron paused to think about the question and sat back down on the corner of the bed. "We were at House's, and I ditched Chase with Foreman, and then we were at that lesbian bar and…Oh." She stopped. Thirteen grinned.

"So am I better than Chase?" she raised an eyebrow at Cameron.

"You're…naughtier than Chase." Cameron decided. "I like that."

"Thought so." Thirteen hopped out of the bed. "You shower first, I'll make coffee." She pointed Cameron in the direction of the bathroom and pulled on a shirt and underwear. Cameron complied.

_At the Hospital…_

"So did you two have sex?" House demanded as Thirteen walked in the door.

Thirteen deadpanned. "Yeah. It was hot." She grabbed a folder off the table and took a seat. "Where are Taub and Kutner?"

House shrugged. "Dead in an alleyway for all I know."

Thirteen rolled her eyes. "At least we have a case."

"And here I thought you enjoyed discovering Cameron's inner badass." House smirked at her.

Taub saved the day by stumbling into the room.

"You look like hell." Thirteen informed him.

He groaned. "I know." She took momentary pity on him and got him a mug of coffee as he collapsed into a chair.

House grinned. "How does it feel to be out-drunk by two girls and be the only one with a hangover the next day?" he taunted as Taub pinched the bridge of his nose.

Kutner made his way into the room, effectively voiding that statement, accompanied by Foreman, who seemed to be unharmed by the previous night's activities.

_Elsewhere…_

Chase entered the ER, planning on demanding why his girlfriend had abandoned him last night. That type of behaviour was completely unacceptable!

"Robert." He whirled around to see her come through the doors behind him, carrying a cup of coffee.

"Allison." He replied grumpily.

"How was the rest of the night?" she questioned, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You left me in a corner!!" He burst out, attracting the attention of several nurses and patients. Cameron led him out into the hallway calmly. Chase was so difficult to handle sometimes!

"You were in one of your states." She pointed out. "I didn't see why it should ruin my evening!"

"You put me in that state." He shot back, pouting.

"We were playing a game Chase. God!" She crossed her arms and looked at him severely. His resolve weakened.

"You kissed Thirteen." He whined, pleading.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "Grow up, Chase. You'd think you would have gotten used to House's games by now."

He looked at the floor, dejected. "Okay." He turned and slowly walked back towards the elevator. Cameron walked back into the ER, Chase disappearing from her mind immediately.

_In a Random Hallway…_

"House!" House sighed as he heard Cuddy's voice floating down the hallway after him, accompanied by the click of heels. "What is this I hear about a drinking competition last night?"

House turned. "You should have been there, Cuddles. I set the old ones against the new ones. Cameron and Thirteen made out. It was _awesome_!"

"You're so full of shit." Cuddy examined him disbelievingly.

"You don't want to know who one?" House asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Cuddy sighed. "Not really." She glared at him. "But I would _really _appreciate it if you _weren't_ the cause of your employees coming into work hung over in the future."

"It stops Taub and Kutner from making stupid suggestions." House pointed out, scratching his stubble. "Differentials are really much more effective with just Thirteen and Foreman there."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Then fire them and reduce your payroll."

"Nah. Need 'em for grunt work."

"Whatever." Cuddy rolled her eyes and walked off. House watched her ass wiggle away. There was really no escaping how hot Cuddy's ass was.

_In House's Office…_

"So, would you want to go for coffee later?" Foreman asked Thirteen, attempting to be casual. Taub and Kutner sat in stupors at the table. Thirteen plonked herself down in a chair and looked up at him.

"No."

"How about tomorrow?" He asked, not put off by her obvious lack of interest.

"No."

"Well, when are you free?" He tried again.

She sighed. "Foreman, in case you hadn't noticed House's multiple comments, I mostly sleep with women."

He looked at her dreamy-eyed. "Yes…"

"So…" she trailed off, raising her eyebrows and hoping he'd get the point. He didn't. She sighed again. "So I'm not interested."

"Oh." Foreman looked hurt, and flipped through the file slowly.

"So now the patient is improving, what the hell are we meant to do with our time?" Thirteen asked in frustration. "I'm not going back to the clinic again!"

"You could go to the ER and make out with Cameron for my benefit." House commented as he limped into the room.

Thirteen gritted her teeth. "It seems to cause large amounts of distraction when Cameron and I hook up." She snapped at him.

"Yeah." House's mind wandered off into a dreamy reminiscence of the previous night. Thirteen rolled her eyes. "Well, Cuddy wants one of you in the ER anyway, and you seem bored. Off you go."

Thirteen stood up and exited the room. _Something_ to do was better than hanging around being asked out by Foreman.

"Foreman, go to the clinic. I'm having lunch with Wilson." Thirteen heard the comment behind her and snickered.

"Hi." Thirteen turned to find Cameron smiling at her.

"Hey. House sent me up to help out."

Cameron snorted. "He would."

"So what can I do?" Thirteen questioned. At least Cameron wasn't awkward.

Cameron gestured to a stack of files. "Dive in." she invited.

_Cafeteria…_

House reached over absently and munched on Wilson's fries. "I need another method of getting Cameron and Thirteen to hook up." He pondered.

Wilson raised his eyebrows. "Unless you hold nightly drinking competitions at your house, I don't see how that's going to happen."

"I'll need to take Chase out of the picture." House ignored his comment, continuing to mull over the problem.

"You think if you just eliminate her boyfriend, Cameron will start hooking up with Thirteen?" Wilson said in disbelief.

House rolled his eyes. "They were obviously enjoying themselves last night. _And_ they went clubbing. _And_ Cameron appears to be wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

"Hmm." That was pretty good evidence.

"So the question is: how do we get her to break up with Chase?" House's eyes gleamed.

As it turned out, he didn't really need to interfere…


	3. Girls' Night Out

_A/N: Sorry – exams are coming up and I'm in the middle of applying for my next degree! I always imagined Thirteen would be a bit naughty in bed, so…_

"So Cameron…"

Cameron jerked upright in the supply closet, banging her head on a shelf. "Ow." She winced, turning to face a smirking Thirteen. "Yes?" she questioned, one hand clasped to her forehead.

"I was thinking we should go clubbing tonight."

Cameron couldn't help but notice Thirteen was stalking towards her in a catlike fashion. She swallowed as Thirteen stopped right in front of her, her bright blue eyes never moving from Cameron's green ones. Her hand dropped from her head. "Sure. I enjoyed last time." She nodded, trying to be nonchalant while feeling incredibly conscious about how close Thirteen's lips were to her own.

Thirteen smiled, satisfied. "I'll pick you up at 10:30." She turned at exited the room as silently as she'd come, leaving a confused but pleased Cameron to gather up the boxes she'd dropped.

_House's Office…_

"Where does Cameron live?" Thirteen asked Foreman as they flipped through a patient's file.

"On Thorne and…" he stopped, suspicious. "Why?" he questioned, eyes narrowed.

"We're going out tonight." Thirteen shrugged. House fell off of his chair backwards.

"What?" he demanded. "Where?"

Thirteen rolled her eyes at him and didn't answer, but looked at Foreman expectantly.

"Why didn't Cameron give you her address?" he asked.

"Cause I didn't ask her for it." Thirteen replied matter-of-factly.

Foreman sighed and wrote it out on a piece of paper, sliding it over to Thirteen, who tucked it into a pocket. "Does Chase know?" He asked.

Thirteen shrugged. "Not my business what Cameron tells her boyfriend."

House had managed to make it off the floor. "_Je t'accuse_!" He pointed at Thirteen dramatically. "You _are_ sleeping with her!"

Thirteen crossed her arms and remained nonresponsive. "Don't we have a differential to do? Where the hell are Taub and Kutner?" she demanded grumpily.

"Who cares?" House said gleefully. "You're getting some from Cameron!"

"This doesn't sound like a differential to me." Cuddy commented from the doorway.

"It's a differential on Thirteen's sex life." House concluded.

Cuddy glared. "Get back to work, House!"

"I'm missing two team members!" House whined.

"You said differentials were better without them." Cuddy pointed out.

"Ouch." Taub walked past her through the door.

"Yeah, major burn." Kutner followed him in.

"Thank you." Thirteen breathed out, looking frustrated.

Cuddy smothered a grin. "Get to work!" she stalked back down the hallway. House's eyes followed her.

Foreman coughed. "I realise you're busy watching Cuddy's ass, but…." He shrugged. "We do have a patient."

House glared at him and turned to the whiteboard.

_In the Hospital Lobby…_

"Why can't I come home with you?" Chase demanded, winding around Cameron like some type of cat.

She sighed. "I told you I have other plans tonight."

"Such as?" Chase crossed his arms and pouted.

"I'm going out."

"With who?" Chase questioned suspiciously.

"Does it matter?" Cameron muttered under her breath, frustrated by the begging that had followed her all the way from the locker room. She turned to Chase patiently. "Thirteen asked if I wanted to do something." She explained. "I'll see you tomorrow. We can have lunch or something." She started to walk away.

"You can't go out with Thirteen!" Chase followed her.

"Why don't you do something with Foreman?" she suggested, attempting to change the subject.

"Because I want to be with you!"

"Too bad!" she finally snapped. She was patient, but the man was like a bloody toddler sometimes! She often wondered if the sex was worth it. She'd certainly been right about him being the person she was least likely to fall in love with. She stalked off, leaving Chase standing in the lobby.

_Cameron's Apartment…_

"Hey gorgeous." Thirteen lounged up against Cameron's door, smiling.

Cameron smiled shyly back. "Hey."

"Want to come on my scooter?" Thirteen invited.

Cameron chuckled. "Sure."

Neither of them noticed House's car across the street.

_Later That Night…_

"What are you going to do to me?" Cameron questioned, grinning.

"Tie you up." Thirteen announced, a length of thick black ribbon dangling from her fingertips.

Cameron bit her lip. "'Kay." She lay still as Thirteen put her arms above her head and bound them carefully to the bedpost.

Thirteen looked down. "Damn you're hot." She took a moment to observe the blonde in a dark blue satin and lace corset lying on her bed.

"You're pretty hot yourself." Cameron wrapped her legs around Thirteen's waist and pulled her down.

Thirteen chuckled into Cameron's mouth and pulled away from her hungry kisses, sliding down her body to kiss the thin crescent of skin below Cameron's corset and above her jeans as she began to remove the pants very slowly. "You're mean." Cameron pouted as Thirteen finally got around to throwing her jeans to the side.

Thirteen smirked. "I have all night, why would I hurry?" She began undoing her own top button by button, just letting Cameron watch.

Cameron sighed prettily.

Having slid out of her pants, Thirteen almost lazily lowered herself to kneel over Cameron's waist, leaning forward so she could kiss the other woman carefully. Cameron was someone she could allow herself to enjoy. She wasn't the type of girl you threw away after one night of hot sex.

Cameron's eyes were dark as Thirteen kissed her way gently down her neck, her hands unhooking the corset so she could access Cameron's breasts. She gasped as she felt Thirteen's lips slide over her nipple, tongue moving in light circles, tickling. She was surprised the woman was so…tender. She hadn't imagined her so.

Thirteen moved down Cameron's stomach. She smelled like roses. It fit. Old-fashioned, yet incredibly sexy. Like the corset. She slid her hands to Cameron's ass, finding lace beneath her fingertips. She found the edge and slid it over the other woman's thighs before flinging it away. Her fingers and tongue began to explore, and she heard Cameron inhale deeply. Thirteen smiled, and looked up briefly. The edges of Cameron's mouth were tilted upward too, her eyes closed. "Don't stop." She murmured.

"Okay." Thirteen lapped inside her gently, satisfied to hear the moans of pleasure coming from Cameron. It had been a long time since she'd really enjoyed pleasing someone.

Thirteen kissed Cameron as she untied her, her lips wet with Cameron's come. Cameron could taste it. As her hands came free she buried her hands in Thirteen's hair, kissing her back sweetly. "It's very frustrating you know, being tied up." She commented, smiling at the brunette on top of her.

Thirteen chuckled. "I know." She laid her head on Cameron's shoulder. Arms wrapped around her and she was flipped to the bottom.

"It's not time to sleep yet." Cameron informed her, eyes twinkling. "We have all night, after all."

Thirteen couldn't help but laugh.


	4. The On Call Room

"Hello?" Cameron questioned sleepily into her phone. Thirteen was dead to the world beside her.

"Where are you?" Chase demanded. "I'm outside your apartment."

Cameron groaned. "Fuck." She muttered under her breath.

"Allison?" Chase sounded nervous.

"I'm not there, Robert." Cameron pinched the bridge of her nose. What should she tell him?

"Well where are you?"

Cameron sighed. "Thirteen's." she admitted.

"What?!?!" She had to hold the phone away from her ear. "What the hell are you doing there?" Chase demanded angrily.

"I _was_ sleeping."

Thirteen groaned, rolling over to find Cameron's warmth. "Are you in bed with her?!" Cameron smacked herself in the head. Evidently Chase had heard. Thirteen looked up at the sound.

"Chase?" she mouthed. Cameron nodded.

"Yes, Robert, I am." She replied calmly. There was really no point in denying it. She heard a moan on the other end of the phone and sighed. It had always been sex. They'd had that conversation a million times. She wasn't good at emotional commitment. She'd entered into the relationship to legitimise the large quantities of sex they were having. It wasn't her fault Chase wanted more.

"How could you?!" Chase said mournfully.

"No offence, Rob, but you knew the deal with our relationship." Cameron pointed out.

"Yeah, but…"

Cameron sighed again. "I don't love you. You know that."

"But…" Chase sounded devastated. "I didn't think you'd cheat on me."

Cameron shrugged. "Sorry" Was all she could come up with. "Look, I'll talk to you later okay?" she hung up the phone without waiting for an answer and lay back down beside Thirteen, rolling her eyes. "He's such a drama queen."

Thirteen smirked.

_Monday Morning…_

"Lesbian club, huh?" House smirked as Thirteen walked into the room a couple of days after her evening with Cameron. "Interesting girls' night out. Especially as it was followed by a night at your place."

Foreman's head shot up at that comment.

Thirteen stopped dead, glaring daggers. "You _followed_ us?" she demanded, her cool severely disturbed by her frightfully annoying and invasive boss.

House shrugged. "You weren't sharing."

Thirteen threw her hands in the air. "And that gives you the right to invade my privacy _how_?!"

"It doesn't." House smirked. "But that's never stopped me."

Thirteen snorted and headed for the coffee maker, smashing the container of coffee down on the counter in frustration. "You're such an _asshole_." She seethed.

"What did you do now?" Taub questioned, evidently having just entered.

"Nothing unusual" House shrugged. Thirteen sighed. At least he wasn't sharing his discovery with the rest of the team. "Just invading Thirteen's privacy by discovering her secret sex life with Cameron" Thirteen ground her teeth. Or he could tell them everything.

"What?!?!" Taub stared at Thirteen open-mouthed. She decided it was best to continue facing the coffee machine, taking deep breaths. After a moment she turned and stalked out of the room, heading for the ER.

She spotted Cameron having a heated conversation with Chase. "Excuse us." She grabbed Cameron by the arm and dragged her into the hallway, earning looks from many of the nurses.

Cameron smiled. "Thanks. He was just…" she saw the look on Thirteen's face. "What…?"

"He_ followed_ us." She burst out.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "House? Why am I not surprised?" she eyed Thirteen and chuckled. "Calm down. It's House. He loves to rile people up."

Thirteen glared at the floor. "I hate having my privacy invaded."

Cameron sighed. "I guess I've just come to see it as commonplace from House." She raised an eyebrow. "What if I invaded your privacy in an on-call room?"

Thirteen smirked at the truly horrible pun. "I think I'd be okay with that."

Cameron grinned. "Excellent. Say, 1 pm?"

"Yeah. See you later." Thirteen smiled at the prospect of hot sex in an on-call room and headed back to House's office, much calmer, leaving Cameron to shake her head in amusement and head back into the ER.

_1:15 pm…_

"There you are." Thirteen grinned as Cameron entered.

"Sorry, last minute emergency." Cameron locked the door behind her and turned the brunette. "How long do you have?"

"Well, I said I was going to the bathroom, so I'd say my absence became conspicuous a little while ago." Thirteen pulled Cameron down on top of her. "Whatever, it's not like House doesn't know."

"Mmm." Cameron chose not to answer, instead kissing Thirteen's neck gently.

About fifteen minutes later, having straightened clothing and hair, they exited the room to come face to face with House. "You two are so not inconspicuous." He smirked.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "Only because you're an obsessive maniac" She turned to Thirteen. "See you later."

Thirteen crossed her arms and eyed House. "Did you actually want something, or are you just here to bug me?"

He shrugged. "I'm bored."

Thirteen smirked. "Monopoly not exciting enough for you?"


	5. Wii Me

Thirteen stiffened with surprise as arms wrapped around her waist in the changing room before realising it was Cameron and relaxing. Hands played with the waist band of the jeans she had only just put on. "I just bought a Wii." Cameron informed her shoulder as she nibbled it. "Want to play?"

Thirteen grinned. "Will it involve nudity and alcohol?"

"Of course."

Thirteen turned in Cameron's arms to be face to face with the ER doctor, kissing her on the lips. "Are _we_ leaving now?" she emphasised the 'we'.

"Will your scooter fit in my trunk?" Cameron raised an eyebrow, backing away slightly to remove her scrubs.

"If not I'll follow you." Thirteen pulled on a shirt.

"Sounds good." Cameron shook out her hair, enjoying the looks Thirteen was giving her pantless legs. She took her time getting dressed.

"So what are the rules?" Thirteen questioned as they sat on Cameron's couch, bottle of vodka in front of them.

"Every time you die, you either take a shot or lose an item of clothing." Cameron decided.

Thirteen nodded. "Okay."

The battle began, wild gestures and body movements abound. It didn't take long for Cameron to make her first win of the evening.

She grinned. "Choose your poison."

"Shot." Thirteen concluded easily. Cameron pouted.

Several rounds later, both were feeling the effects of the alcohol. "I am removing my socks." Cameron came to the decisive conclusion that both members of the challenge were wearing far too much.

"That's not a very interesting item." Thirteen informed her.

Cameron shrugged. "They have to come off sometime."

Unfortunately for her, she lost the next round too, and along with it, her pants, leaving Thirteen quite pleased with herself.

They faithfully carried out the challenge until the very end, when Cameron took a winning shot, destroying Thirteen's character with a superb blow. She grinned. "I believe I win." She informed her opponent.

Thirteen stood, removing her thong and chucking it aside to join the rest of her clothing. "So what are you going to do to me?" she questioned seductively, smirking.

In response Cameron led her to the bedroom.

Needless to say, both were pretty tired upon arriving at the hospital the next day.

"Up all night _again_, Thirteen?" House examined her as she proceeded towards the coffee maker. "And sore. What did the woman do to you?!"

"None of your business" Thirteen informed him, too tired to deny that anything was happening between herself and Cameron.

House grinned. "That dirty minx." He was practically glowing.

Thirteen felt much better a few minutes later once her coffee had finished.

"What's up with you?" Foreman questioned as he slid into the room. "Are you okay?"

"Just tired." Thirteen informed him.

"Because she was up all night having wild sex with Cameron!" House blurted out.

Thirteen rolled her eyes. Foreman became visibly less sympathetic.


	6. The Chase Incident

"Dr. Cameron?" Cuddy strode into the ER. Cameron looked up from the patient file she was examining. "Have you talked to Chase recently? He's missed his last two shifts."

Cameron shifted guiltily. "You may find him curled up in a corner of his apartment contemplating life over a bottle of some kind of alcohol."

Cuddy eyed her. "And why is that?"

"We broke up." Cameron stated simply.

Cuddy sighed. "How do you recommend I coax him out of the corner and back into his OR?" she requested, frustration evident in her voice. "He's not answering the phone."

Cameron winced. "You usually have to leave him there until…" Cuddy gave her a look. "Er, okay. House has keys, and I'd send Foreman. He's best at getting him out."

"Thank you." Cuddy strode out again. Cameron sighed and went to find her patient.

_House's Office…_

"Foreman."

Foreman jumped as Cuddy entered the room. "Yes?" He'd spent the morning examining the glass table in silence.

"I need you to get Chase out of his apartment and back to the OR." Cuddy informed him.

Foreman sighed. House chuckled from his desk. "This has something to do with Cameron and Thirteen for sure."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "No. Chase and Cameron broke up and I'm presuming Cameron did the breaking because Chase is currently huddled in a corner of his apartment. Thus, I need Foreman to get him out of there and back here."

House scratched his chin. "Broken wombat…Hmm, I'd like to see that. Let's go, Foreman!" Foreman looked at him desolately. House sighed. "For God's sakes man, suck it up!"

"Suck what up?" Cuddy questioned suspiciously.

"He found out Cameron and Thirteen are sleeping together and is, as you can see, less than pleased. It's disturbing to see a former criminal mourning the loss of a skinny, Huntington's-riddled, sarcastic member of the team, no?"

"There's too much incest in this hospital. That's what I think." Cuddy responded. "Now go get Chase!" she stalked out, leaving House to watch her ass in pleasure. She noticed, turned to glare at him and then continued her way down the hall. House grinned.

"C'mon, Foreman!" He practically dragged the other man out of his chair.

_Chase's Apartment…_

"Chase!" House opened the door. "Get your ass over here!"

"No. That isn't how you do it." Foreman murmured. He pushed past House into the apartment, starting to search for Chase. "You take the kitchen." He instructed.

He started searching the bedroom, a pitiful sobbing sound leading him to the closet. "Chase?" he questioned, opening it.

"Go away." Chase sobbed, clutching his bottle of beer.

"Er, actually, Cuddy needs you at the hospital." Foreman told him.

"No." Chase protested.

"Okay. But you seriously need to shower." Foreman told him. "How're you going to win Cameron back if you don't look good?"

Chase whimpered. Foreman gently took away the bottle of beer and slowly started talking Chase out of the closet. Half an hour later he had the man in the bathroom to shower.

"How's the broken wombat?" House questioned as Foreman closed Chase in.

Foreman rolled his eyes. "It took me half an hour to get him out of the closet. But he's in the shower at least."

House nodded. "Now we just need him sober and at the hospital."

Foreman sighed. "That might take a while."

"Good, I can have one of his beers." House headed for the kitchen.

"Bring me one?" Foreman requested. House decided to acquiesce and tossed one over. "Thanks." Foreman opened it and started drinking.

"Dude. The woman is driving you to drink and you aren't even dating her. That's a bad sign." House informed him. Foreman ignored him.

"So I was thinking we could lure Chase out with lunch, and then hopefully he'll be sober enough to go talk to Cuddy. He definitely shouldn't be practicing medicine any time soon though, trust me."

"Fine" House agreed. "I'm hungry anyway."

They waited for Chase to get dressed and then announced he was being dragged out to lunch. It took a lot of convincing, but he agreed, cowering in the sunlight as they got him into the car.

Foreman drove to House's demanded restaurant. It was some form of old diner. "Best Rueben's in town." House sighed happily as he climbed out of the car. "This day is _way_ better than I was expecting." Foreman sighed and went to the back to pull Chase out of the car, facing much resistance.

Lunch (which Foreman ended up paying for) at least allowed time for Chase to sober up a little.

Afterward, they stuck in him in the back of the car, claiming they were taking him home, and then drove him to the hospital despite the pleas coming from the back seat.

_Cuddy's Office…_

"Chase?" Cuddy paced back and forth in front of him.

"Yes?" He questioned, evidently intimidated.

"You can't skip work because your girlfriend broke up with you." She informed him.

"She's sleeping with Thirteen." He whimpered.

"Nonetheless, it's unacceptable." Cuddy frowned. "This is your_ job_."

Chase nodded miserably.

"Now," Cuddy continued. "I'll give you until tomorrow to pull yourself together. I expect you here at 8 am. Understood?"

"Yes." Chase responded petulantly. "Can I go home now?"

Cuddy sighed. "Ask Foreman for a ride."


	7. A Plan of Action

_A/N: Sorry!!! Exams + Quebec City for the w/e + visiting mother = no internet, let alone writing!! Sorry its so short, I wanted to get something up!_

Thirteen smiled as she heard the door to the supply closet close and felt Cameron's body press against her own, warm lips searching for her own. Her fingers found their way into Cameron's coat and under her blouse. "I missed you." She breathed between hard kisses.

"Come over more often then" Was Cameron's smooth response as she kissed her way down Thirteen's neck. Thirteen groaned. "I didn't say you had to _stay_!" Cameron chuckled, unbuttoning the few button's at the top of Thirteen's shirt before getting frustrated and skilfully removing the brunette's bra from underneath.

Thirteen's eyebrows raised in the darkness. "How naked are we getting in here, Cam?" She received a soft chuckle in response.

"Only one of us is losing clothes, _Remy" _Thirteen sighed as she heard the emphasis on her first name. Cameron was into personalising shit for some reason.

She grinned. "I can fix that." She started to unbutton Cameron's dress pants and slid a finger down into the lace panties she knew were waiting beneath. Cameron gasped.

"Mmm." She tugged on Thirteen's lower lip gently before lowering her mouth to one of Thirteen's exposed nipples. "I sure hope no-one comes in."

"No-one comes down here." Thirteen rolled her eyes in spite of her enjoyment of Cameron's work on certain parts of her anatomy.

Just to prove her wrong, the door slammed open seconds later to expose an enraged Chase. "I _knew _it!" He yelled, pointing as the two women remained, stunned, in their previous positions.

Foreman stood behind him, shooting a forelorn look at Thirteen before reaching out and closing the closet door.

"Huh." Thirteen commented, unable to come up with anything more eloquent.

"Yeah" Cameron seemed equally blindsided.

"That was weird, no?" Thirteen checked.

"Yeah" Cameron reached over to flip on the light and pulled herself up onto one of the counters. "Yeah it was."

"Okay." Thirteen reached down and picked up her bra from where it lay on the floor, slipping it back on under her shirt. "Well, I'm gonna go, so I'll see you later."

"My place?" Cameron asked.

"Yeah" Thirteen walked out the door and closed it behind her.

"'kay" Cameron's response echoed in the empty room as she hopped off the counter and did her pants back up before departing the closet as well.

_A Bar…_

"I'm not sure that was the best way of coping with the situation." Foreman pointed out to a desolate-looking Chase.

Chase glared at him over his beer glass. "And of course doing nothing is a _brilliant_ coping mechanism." He commented back sarcastically.

Foreman shrugged. "Acting like a madman won't change things."

Chase took a long drink of his beer. "I'll get her back. You'll see."

Foreman just shrugged again.

_At Cameron's Apartment…_

"So…." Thirteen skirted the subject. "Is Chase going to do that often?" she took a gulp of her beer, lounging against Cameron's counter.

Cameron sighed. "Better not. Stupid, blonde, cute-accented, Australian asshole…" she muttered under her breath until she realised Thirteen was eying her in amusement and blushed. "Whatever" she scowled. "He should get that my life is none of his business any more."

"But he doesn't." Thirteen commented.

"No." Cameron agreed, sipping her beer.

"As proved by this afternoon's display."

"Yeah"

"I'm staying over" Thirteen concluded.

"Right…" Cameron was visibly confused by the string of seemingly unrelated statements.

"And we're arriving at work together in your car." Thirteen grinned. "Chase is going to learn he's not part of your life anymore."

Cameron nodded slowly, liking where this was going. "Okay." She agreed.

_The Next Day…_

Thirteen spotted Chase in the cafeteria line-up a few people behind Cameron and walked quickly up to the blonde woman, moving her hand to tuck a piece of hair behind the other woman's ear. "Hey." She smiled as she watched Chase's face turn angry out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey Remy" Cameron smiled up at her, her happiness utterly genuine.

"I was just wandering what time we can get out of here." Thirteen questioned. She knew Chase could hear her, given the shade of red his face was turning. "I'm off at six, so…"

"I'm not done till seven…Do you want my car keys?" Cameron's face was the picture of innocence.

Thirteen shook her head, pouring herself a cup of coffee and placing it on Cameron's tray. "I'll wait." She kissed the blonde's cheek softly. She could practically hear Chase gritting his teeth behind them. She winked at the blonde woman, who grinned back as she passed a bill to the cashier and they wandered off to find seats.

"He was _so_ mad!" Cameron chuckled into her cup of coffee.

"I know." Thirteen smiled. "Guys are easy like that…the question is: will he get the picture?"

Cameron sighed. "Chase is pretty hard-headed when it comes to me, whiny bitch or not."

Thirteen nodded. "I guess we just have to wait and see."

"Guess so."


End file.
